TastyTuesday: Banana Coconut Nutella Smoothie

I thought I'd share a recent favorite snack with you:

Banana Coconut Nutella Smoothie

1 medium banana
1/2 cup coconut-almond milk
1 tablespoon Nutella
3/4 cup plain Greek yogurt
handful of ice

Place the ingredients in a blender and blend until ice chunks disappear.

Super easy and delish!

Oh fer shame

Last week,  I told you about starting a Shape Your Life Challenge with Chris Linnares. 

With a full week to think about what we talked about in our first session (which will be online at some point), I've come to better understand myself and my struggles with my weight.

Chris makes this challenge all about finding the real you. There are certainly things I've caught myself doing this week that make me stop and say, "Whoa, this isn't me. Why am I doing it?" Most importantly though, this body and the way I've treated it lately isn't the real me.

The real me loves fashion. Just follow me for a day on Pinterest, and that much is evident. Since hitting this all-time-high weight, I've tried going shopping and buying new clothes. Usually what I end up settling on isn't really me; it's what fits the current me.

The most difficult moment of that first day with Chris also revolved around clothes, but for an entirely different reason. As we looked through the sea of black in my closet, Chris asked whether there were any clothes that I wanted to wear. I gave her a sheepish look and moved her from my closet to my bed. Underneath, I keep three plastic totes full of the clothes that fit me just two years ago. I pulled one out and showed her the pieces I've missed -- cute little dresses and smart-looking tops. She asked how it makes me feel that I can't fit into those clothes any more. I struggled with a response and after some prodding, the word "worthless" came out of my mouth, followed by a rush of tears from my eyes.

Every day for the past week, I've thought about that "worthless" word, and it's made me mad. I don't truly feel worthless. I'm proud of who I am and what I've accomplished. I feel full of worth. What I really feel about those clothes under my bed is ashamed. I know this isn't the body I should have. I work so hard in every aspect of my life (including on losing weight), but what I haven't done is fully appreciate myself and my body for all that it's given me. And for that, I'm ashamed.

I've also placed the effort on losing weight ahead of people and activities I enjoy and make me full of worth. As an extremely social person, I've isolated myself lately -- so not me. And for that, I'm ashamed.

Sure, I don't feel good about the way I look right now, but my weight almost seems like it's changed me. Part of this week has been about reconnecting and doing the things that I love: getting drinks with friends, going for bike rides and going shopping. And for that, I'm proud.

Cleaning up and clearing out

Part of the Shape Your Life challenge I'm doing with Chris Linnares involves getting parts of your life to where your ideal self would want them to be. That's a hard thing to describe, but essentially, however the ideal, "real" me would want my desk or closet to look is how it should be.

My first task was my handbag. As I drug it from the floor of the kitchen into my bedroom, the heft and inner chaos of it became such an obvious metaphor to my life lately: Cluttered and overwhelmed; loving and enjoying most of the stuff going into it, but constantly searching and digging to find the most important things.




I'm not a messy person — it's just not me. But somehow my purse and desk tend to get cluttered, largely because I'm working on a lot at once and not taking the time to regroup and take a step back.

Emptying my purse on my bed, I was a bit appalled by how much crap spilled out — crap that I'd been carrying around for months and weighed me down, piling onto an already heavy load. Why was I hauling so much extra around when it was completely useless?

In just five minutes time and with very minimal effort, I cleared the clutter. Not only did it lighten my load, it lifted my mood and outlook on where I'd bring that handbag next.

SaturdayChallenge: Shaping my life

So I mentioned last week that I was starting a new healthy-me journey.

On Friday, Chris Linnares (she's sort of like gorgeous Dr. Phil of Brazil) came to my home to help me start my transformation by shaping my life. For the next three weeks, she and I will work together through a number of challenges.

Her visit really made me realize how much resentment I've harbored toward myself for all these years because of my weight. Chris is amazingly positive and insightful, and is helping me gain more of that for myself.

I think I've always told myself that I have to be strict and this is going to be so hard, but the more I evaluate what I've done in the past, the more I think I've continuously sabotaged myself with those strategies.

Yesterday, Chris and I went though all of the diets and programs that haven't worked to help me lose weight or view food differently, and she gave me some great challenges for the upcoming week. I'm even debuting my new last name: Heidi Vibrant. I'm going to live the next three weeks like Heidi Vibrant. Feel free to join in with me.

Challenge No. 1: Spiritual Cleansing

Make sure your home, closet, desk, purse represent the Heidi Vibrant you truly are — a happy, energetic, inspiring woman

•  Give those old clothes that don't fit anymore to a nice charity like the YWCA.

• Choose more vibrant color of cloths to wear this week.

Challenge No. 2: Express Gratitude to your Body

Remember that you don't diet, you express gratitude to your body.

Your  body is a sacred temple, so love your body. This week be your best lover by developing a Sensual Life Style.

Sensual comes from the Latin word sensualita that means connect with your sense — listen to your body, respect your body, make your body happy this week by:

•  Eating Energy Food: Food that makes your body happy: The best energy foods don't come with a food label. A Banana has just one ingredient: banana!

• Diva Grocery Store Runaway - Sunday and Wednesday: Treat the grocery store like its your personal runway and walk around the store, avoiding the processed junk in the middle.

• Move your body: Move your body the way that makes your body happy: walking, biking, dancing.

• Sensual Massage: Three times a week massage your body and express your love and gratitude.

SundayInspiration: Healthy me

The past few weeks were about re-evaluating my health and trying to make changes. I always have the best intentions for eating healthy and being active at the start of the day, but as stress and time constraints creep in, my resolve resolves.

On Friday, a life coach of sorts, is going to challenge me to get in shape. I don't know much of what this entails yet, but I'll take you on my journey with me.

As many chronic dieters, when I'm hungry and tired, I often feel alone in my weight-loss world. "Why do I have to do this? There are so many women who are just thin and don't have to try." After decades of diets and exercise plans of varying success, I've come to realize I'm just not one of those women. If I want to lose weight, it will be a lot of work. If I want to keep it off, that's also going to be work. But I'm not alone. There are many bloggers out there who help keep me inspired daily and remind me that they're going through the same things.

Today, I'm starting on a weight-loss journey. This blog isn't going to go completely health-focused (I promise I'm still way more interested in fashion than I am in calorie counting), but I need wellness to be a bigger part of my life, and part of having a lifestyle blog is changing it to reflect my life.

Those of you that have followed me for a while know this isn't the first blog post of the nature, but this morning, something just "clicked." This time, it's also going to stick.

Bloggers to inspire you (and me, doi) along your weight-loss journey:

Source: 125.msn.ca via Heidi on Pinterest

One Twenty Five: I've followed Liz for several years. She and I were at our lowest weights together, and then seemed to also gain weight at the same time. This is, of course, purely coincidence since she lives across the globe in Melbourne and I'm all the way up here in North Dakota.

Source: canyoustayfordinner.com via Becky on Pinterest

Can You Stay for Dinner?: Andi has lost more than 100 pounds and kept it off for five-plus years. The best part? She still enjoys awesome food — including baked goods, my downfall.

Source: brooklynfitchick.typepad.com via Life of Riley on Pinterest

Brooklyn Fit Chick: I'm a new reader to this one, but so far I love it.

StylinSaturday: Looks I wish I could rock

You know that point in your weight gain when you start being unable to picture yourself wearing anything but flowy dresses, sweaters and leggings. Well, I'm there. Lord, do I need to really start paying attention to what I eat and hit the gym. As some motivation, here's some looks I wish I could rock right now:

Source: google.com via Brandy on Pinterest

Source: uncarnetsanspages.fr via Moorea on Pinterest

Source: ribbonoflights.tumblr.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

Source: joannagoddard.blogspot.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

Source: 1.bp.blogspot.com via Bushra on Pinterest

Source: backseatcuddler.com via Laurie on Pinterest

Source: news.instyle.com via Chris on Pinterest

SaturdayChallenge: Get fit

This beautiful weather we're having is making my hyper, which is great because I only have eight weeks until the Fargo Marathon. I'm signed up for the 10k, and I know I probably won't be in 10k shape quite yet. But that's OK with me. I'm still taking the steps to get back into running shape.

I've lost a few pounds (frankly, I'm not keeping super close track of my weight and relying more on how I feel and how my clothes fit) over the past couple weeks. I'd realistically like to be about 10-15 pounds lighter by the race on May 18.

I've long been good about getting my cardio workout in, but I really, really dislike strength training.
New goal: Make strength training a part of my workout everyday.

Source: loseweight-safe.com via Melissa on Pinterest

Source: loseweight-safe.com via Merle on Pinterest

WednesdayWellness: To run or not to run

I have 4 hours and 39 minutes to decide whether or not I should run in the Fargo Marathon this spring. It's only 10 weeks away, so I would definitely not be doing the full. But not running for more than a year and gaining 20 pounds doesn't give me much hope that I could even finish the second.

Source: womenshealthmag.com via Glenna on Pinterest

So who's with me? Anyone else want to train to run the Fargo 10K with me on May 17. If you don't live here, want to train along for a race near you?

I'm shooting for the 10K. It's 6.2 miles, which really isn't that far — if you're in shape. I'm researching some different training regimes, and I think I could make it if I actually stick to it. And isn't working out so much easier when you have your sights on a goal.

Source: toneitup.com via Bridget on Pinterest

I'd like to start a weekly post where we update each other on our progress and have an open discussion about getting in running shape. Each week we'll issue a challenge for the whole group and hold ourselves accountable.

So here we go. Let's do this. I'm going to call it "10k in 10 weeks."

Source: happyfitness.tumblr.com via Haley on Pinterest

FridayConfession: Getting fatter

It's time to come clean and make a decision to change it: I've gained weight.

Since I got married ten months ago, I've packed on about 15 pounds. I worked so hard to lose these same 15 pounds a couple of years ago, and I managed to keep them off until earlier this year.

It started with losing my grandpa in April. I used it as an excuse to skip my runs and eat to comfort myself as he was in the hospital. Following that there was a host of other excuses. Then came our honeymoon, and I decided to eat everything France and Germany had to offer. After we returned, I got a new job at work, and it shifted my schedule. The point is I found any and every excuse to eat something because I wanted it. And I ate way more of it than I needed.

I rejoined Weight Watchers last month, and haven't seen much of a change. Probably because I'm not sticking to it. I don't want this to be a weight-loss blog. It's a lifestyle blog, but sometimes life involves gaining weight and reassessing your health.

So blog friends, part of my life is going to start revolving around eating better and moving more. Anyone want to join me to try to lose 10 pounds by New Years? My goal is to fit into the dress I was going to wear for my rehearsal dinner (before it was canceled by a blizzard) for my first anniversary.